Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Video games and exercise don’t mix

I am afraid of the conclusions that are going to be drawn by gamers who pick up Nintendo’s new video game system, the Wii.

Unlike other video games systems, the Wii features a controller that looks like a remote and that you can wave around your television to interact with the game. Gamers can use the controller to do such novel actions such as drive a car, swordfight, or play tennis.

It’s this last one that scares me. Tennis. As in you wave your controller to swing a tennis racket.

Video game nerds everywhere are beginning to fantasize about being able to exercise and play video games at the same time. “Running around my living room swinging this controller wildly will keep me physically fit.”

The cycle of delusions must stop here. This is just the latest in a series of farfetched conclusions that we video gamers have reached to justify our anti-social habit.

Example 1: It improves hand-eye coordination (List “excellent hand-eye coordination” as one your skills for the next job you apply for and see where that gets you).

Example 2: The ladies always appreciate a man who’s good with his fingers (Next time you’re with a lady, let me know how doing the konami code goes over).

Unless you enlarge your living room to the size of a regulation tennis court and actually plan on running around madly swinging your controller, you will not be able to use your Nintendo to become physically fit. You will not loose any weight, and will most definitely loose what’s left of your dignity.

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