Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

I’m not bitter. Really. I’m happy. Companionship? Fancy dinner? Sex? Bah, who needs it? I’ve thought of a number of fun things I can do today and tonight. If you’re single like me, may I suggest that you:

Show up at the restaurants where you know your “couple friends” are going to be. When they ask you why you are there, throw the question back at them and ask them why they’re out tonight. Act shocked when they tell you it’s Valentine's Day, and then mutter, “Now things are starting to make more sense.”

Watch the perfect Valentine's Day movie, and by perfect Valentine's Day movie, I of course mean the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. Bonus points if you turn it into a drinking game where you take a shot every time Frodo says “Oh Sam!”

Enjoy a romantic evening alone with just you and Papa John’s Valentine's Day Special: Buy one pizza, get a free pie.

Spend the entire day at work singing along to the cheesiest, sappiest music you can find, preferably from your “Greatest Hits of the 80’s: Power Ballads” CD. Bonus points if you can somehow work the lyric “Every rose has its thorn” into a normal conversation with your coworkers.

Go to the store, pick up one item like lotion or gel, and then get in the longest line possible. While in line, keep repeating, “Party for one tonight, yeahhh baby,” interspersed with porn music sounds like “bow-chicka-bow-wow.”

4 comments:

Pink Is Neat said...

Happy V-Day/SAD!

That comic cracked me up. I need to start dancing like that at work. Do you think it'd go with "Final Countdown"?

Across The River said...

Of course, it'd go perfect with any "cool" songs, including "Final Countdown."

mm said...

haha I love the lotion pick-up idea. I really hope you did that. That comic was awesome.

Across The River said...

mm: When I am ready for my lifetime banning from Giant, I will do just that.