I’ve never consciously avoided the camera. I’ve just never made an effort to have my picture taken, or to try to take photos of others. When I was recently asked to submit a digital photo to a charity auction, I browsed through three digital photos that I had. The first one was from college, back when I had scruffy facial hair and was about 15 pounds lighter. The second was a more recent photo, but I was clearly drunk. The third wasn’t a bad photo, but I was wearing a suit and sunglasses, and looked like one of the Agents from the Matrix. I ended up submitting that photo, but not without reservations.
I seem to have a supernatural ability to screw up any photos I appear in. Think you can make it easy and just tell me to smile? Not going to work, because your camera won’t capture a normal smile. Nope, I’ll come across like some grinning lunatic in a Jeffery Dahmer look-alike contest. Does your camera have adjustments to eliminate red-eye? It won’t matter, as my true nature will always shine through and you’ll have to use all your Photoshop prowess to remove the glowing red from my eyes.
What does all this mean? Should I just admit defeat, and forever hide from the camera. No! I refuse to let my poor track record deter me from taking photos. In fact, I’ve finally caught up with the rest of the industrialized world, and purchased a digital camera, which should be arriving this week. This year, I vow to take as many photos as possible, until either my friends wrench the camera from my hands and proceed to beat me senseless with it, or the camera grows tired of trying to take good pictures of me and destroys itself.