One of the cats always picks the largest team to win. The other cat picks schools with cat mascots to beat bird mascots. If there is no cat-bird matchup, then it becomes whichever mascot could takes the other one in a fight. Could a gator beat a wolf pack? Could a tiger take a blue devil? These questions occupy my waking moments and haunt my dreams.
One thing is for certain, do not loose to the cats. If you lose to the cats you immediately become not only the laughingstock of everyone in this group, but also less of a person. You got outwitted by a creature that bathes in its own saliva and takes shits in scented gravel. You might as well get down on all fours and start licking yourself, because frankly you’re not any better than them.
Pray that I am not reduced to that level.