Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Lou Dobbs, bringing companies closer together since 1945

The drumming-I never know when it will start and when it will stop. To combat this, I have been trying to spend as little time at my house as possible before the 10pm cutoff time for drumming.

This has been good in some ways. It has given me extra motivation to hit the gym after work. An hour and a half working out is an hour and a half I am not spending pulling my hair out at home.

I go to a gym on the ground floor of my office building (small, but free!). In the past few weeks, more than a few times, I’ve found myself working out with one of my bosses. This has been interesting. She and I don’t really socialize while at work, but at the gym we have a common bond.

Would that common bond be running, you ask? Lifting weights? The fact that you both have matching gym shorts?

The answer to your three questions: No, no, and where the fuck is your mind?

No, we bond easily over our shared hatred of Lou Dobbs, and sometimes Wolf Blitzer and The Situation Room. You see, there’s one television in the gym, and being that this is DC, by law it must be tuned to a 24-hour news station, preferably CNN. If you do have the audacity to change it to Fox News, be ready, Moveon.org has spies in the gym that will produce and air an attack ad directed at you within 10 minutes of changing the channel.

Anyways, back to Wolf and Lou. I don’t really dislike Wolf as much as she does, but we have definitely found the common ground in hating on ol’ Lou. The guy makes it so easy. Every night, he covers three topics, “Illegal immigration,” “The War on the Middle Class,” and five minutes devoted to Iraq.

If you strike me down I shall become more
powerful than you can possibly imagine.

The first two topics are golden. Watch as Lou Dobbs gets angry and engages in “reporting”, with comments such as “The President, Congress and all illegal aliens should be ashamed of themselves for trampling on the laws of the land” or “This is an outrage, what the heck is wrong with Big Business?” or “Don’t test me Christiane Amanpour, you’re making me angry…you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

Oh how we laugh at ol’ Lou. Haha, objective reporting, haha look at the blood vessel burst on his forehead. Ohh, good times…good times.


The View From Dupont said...

I've always been of the opinion that he looks strangely over-grown-child-like, I'm not sure why... enough to give you nightmares though, that's for sure.

mm said...

I don't know who he is....sorry.

Across The River said...

vfd: I think he's Louie Anderson's twin brother or something.

mm: That's quite all right. Lou Dobbs isn't exactly the Walter Cronkite of our generation.