Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Why Matt will be taking advantage of his insurance in the future

I was greeted by what looked to be a Wookie wearing a pair of briefs. A green pair of briefs. A tight pair of green briefs. I stepped away from the door hesitantly and…

Don’t you hate joining a conversation mid-story?

Ok, let me start from the beginning. It was an experience that happened 3 weeks ago, and I have only now gotten over my trauma to speak about it.

I had just sprained my ankle, or so said the experts, aka my nurse friend from Richmond, who just happened to be visiting me the night the sidewalk and I had an altercation, and my roommate, a surgeon of some sorts. The experts opinion: Probably not broken, probably sprained, would need an X-ray to confirm. Fuck that I say, a “medical probably” is good enough for me.

A few days later the ankle is still as big as a melon. I begin to regret my cocky attitude from just days before. My nurse friend has returned to Richmond. I hurriedly seek out my surgeon roommate.

I knock on his door and announce my presence. “Come in,” he says.

I begin to open the door only to see him sitting in a chair, completely naked save for the described tiny pair of underwear. I back away from the door, unsure whether I have heard him right.

“Come in,” he repeats. I am already committed. I tentatively step through the doorway into his room.

A mantra begins in my head. “You have been in a locker room before. You are mature. You have been in a locker room before. You are mature.”

As he grabs and pokes my foot and ankle, pain shoots through my lower body. It is a welcome distraction. Second diagnosis: Probably still not broken, probably still sprained, probably would need an X-ray to confirm. “I could take you to the hospital and get it X-rayed for you, if you’d like.” Fuck that I say to myself, thank him for his time as I leave his room and immediately seek out a remedy for the BURNING IN MY EYES.

Moral of the story: You get what you (don’t) pay for.

Monday, August 20, 2007

I hate mints

Peppermint, spearmint, after dinner mint, mint chocolate, most toothpastes-if it’s mint, I hate it. So it is with some oddness that I find myself popping mints in my mouth. Is this like some lesser version of cutting myself?

Or maybe this is some sort of weird analogy for life? A strong, sickly sweet slap to the face, then a cool breath of relief afterwards? Hard times before the good? I can buy that. Winamp finishes up with Kaiser Chiefs, fades into Kansas and then rolls into Kanye West. I take a deep breath, and then exhale minty cool.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

A bit more present

I almost missed you yesterday. You weren’t where I thought you’d be. I got worried when I couldn’t find you initially. I was on the other side of the field, an older side. Older ground. Older stone. Older men.

I should have known to look for you in greener fields. The parched earth and scraggly patches of crab grass gave way to carefully manicured grounds. Freshly planted grass. Newly upturned dirt.

It didn’t look the same as it did when I saw you last. Yesterday was bright, sunny, and warm. I wiped sweat from my forehead as I walked along the rows of your brothers, and remembered that cold, rainy, October day.

The tourist will come to see the changing of the guard, the eternal flame, the resting places of historical figures and brave men from previous generations. They will marvel at how historical it all feels. I do hope that they will take the time to walk to greener fields. Where mothers hug headstones that were not there a year ago. Where markers list dates like July 31, 2007. Where it all seems a little less historical…and a bit more present.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Keep going

One step in front of the other. That’s all you have to do. Left foot. Right foot. Keep going. Full speed ahead. Don’t stop. Life’s going fast. Short breaths. Keep your pace. Step off that curb. Don’t stumble. You can’t stumble in life. If you stumble you’ll…oh shit what did I tell you about stepping off the curb? Look at your ankle! You just sprained your ankle you dumbass. But you can’t let that slow you down. Got to keep going. One step in front of the other. That’s all you have to do. Left foot. Right foot…