Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I'm OK.

The most recent posts have been a bit depressing. The post count has diminished some. Well, maybe a lot. However, I just want to let the small percentage of the population that checks this blog for info on me know that I'm ok. Really, I'm doing pretty damn well.

I'll admit, this isn't the direction I thought I'd be taking this blog. I started this off wanting to make every post a humorous reflection of my life. At the time I wasn't getting the most enjoyment out of the place that I was spending 8 hours a day. If I had to be serious there, and if I had to hold it in, I was sure going to let it out when I started writing.

I need to reevaluate the direction I take this blog. I've considered quiting, but I know that as soon as I hang up the blogging cleats the urge to get back in the game will reassert itself. Introspection and melancholy are ok, but I don't necessarily think I want to continue writing about those things.

Thanks for hanging in there. I'm sure we'll speak again. Adios, and goodnight.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I lie to myself by sucking in my gut

Dark days seemed ahead at work. Bad news. Hit you in the gut sort of news. Myself and a co-worker headed to the bar to cope. We sat down and began drinking our beers. After finishing off one round, she decided to go home. Before she left, she asked if I would be ok. I looked at her and smiled. I had no intentions of drinking away my sorrows. No, I told her, I would drown my sorrows in warm nacho cheese. Food, not drink was my comfort. Sure enough I headed to that nationwide taco joint that is synonymous with clogged arteries and frequent trips to the toilet. I ignored the pain in my stomach, the food was comforting, that was all that mattered. I felt guilty, but relieved at the same time.

And this process would repeat itself. It had happened before. It would happen again. Because this is how I cope. And eventually I told myself, that one day I would grow tired of repeating that process.

That day is today.