Thursday, January 17, 2008

I lie to myself by sucking in my gut

Dark days seemed ahead at work. Bad news. Hit you in the gut sort of news. Myself and a co-worker headed to the bar to cope. We sat down and began drinking our beers. After finishing off one round, she decided to go home. Before she left, she asked if I would be ok. I looked at her and smiled. I had no intentions of drinking away my sorrows. No, I told her, I would drown my sorrows in warm nacho cheese. Food, not drink was my comfort. Sure enough I headed to that nationwide taco joint that is synonymous with clogged arteries and frequent trips to the toilet. I ignored the pain in my stomach, the food was comforting, that was all that mattered. I felt guilty, but relieved at the same time.

And this process would repeat itself. It had happened before. It would happen again. Because this is how I cope. And eventually I told myself, that one day I would grow tired of repeating that process.

That day is today.


mm said...

I hope you're feeling better. Chocolate is my nacho cheese :/

We bleed through similar veins said...

So what's the deal? you're fat and you've been living a lie by sucking in your gut? Welcome to my reality, been doing that for years, but unless you stop eating that junk and start doing things differently you'll stay the same.

I think I'm writing this like half to you, half to myself. if you want to talk maybe we can help motivate each other, go over the shit we're sick and tired of and motivate each other to do what we have to do to look better and get some ladies mang! email me at