Monday, July 5, 2010

Summer

Summer: Hey.

Me: Hey Summer, how's it going?

Summer: Going good. So...you remember Winter?

Me: Please don't remind me. I never want to see snow again.

Summer: Yeah, about that...you do know that Winter's little show is forcing me to step up my game. I'm going to have to bring some inclement weather myself.

Me: Yeah...I kind of expected that. So a heatwave or two this summer?

Summer: Something like that. I'm letting August have the whole summer.

Me: But...

Summer: 100 degree weather all the time. Hot, humid, and hazy! Prepare yourself!

Me: This isn't fair...

Summer: And you think you'll be able to escape the heat during the evening? You won't! It won't dip below 85. I promise you!

Me: Summer, have you been drinking? What the hell?

Summer: Code red days till September! You'll be sucking ozone through a straw!

Me: DAMNIT SUMMER!

Summer: And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.

Me: Summer, stop this! You've clearly lost it. Now you're just quoting Pulp Fiction. I mean the Bible...I mean Pulp Fiction and the Bible.

Summer: The weather will be biblical! Droughts! Dust storms! Lightning!

Me: I'm signing off. I don't need this right now.

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